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Becki's Advice!!
Looking for some advice on love, dating, popularity or anything at all? You've come to the right place! This is my advice column, Becki's Advice. If you have a question, e-mail it to me below. I'll either put it up on my page with the answer, or if it's too private I can just email you the answer. If you want more than one opinion, say so and I'll put it in "Reader's Advice," where you guys see the question and give the advice. Get it? Good! Oh yeah, one more thing. Give your name (real name, screenname or made-up name) and age. Thanks!

I have really (kinda) good grades in most of my classes and I have good class participation... but there is one slight problem. I am always missing homework assignments. I always put them off to the last minute and then say that it's "not that important" and I get extremely bored doing homework. I can never stay focused. I need some motivation.. got any ideas? Please help - Heather, 14

What are you getting distracted by? You should think about that. I think you should do your homework at a different time. Take care of all distractions first - go to the bathroom, eat, etc. Log off ICQ and AOL, so you won't be tempted to chat. Then settle yourself somewhere that people won't bother you. Then you've got to set your priorities. What homework is most important? What homework is easy? Since I know you've been putting off your French homework, you should do that first. Then do everything else. If you get antsy, take a 5 minute break to run around, get food, whatever. But get back to work. Don't think of homework as just filling in answers, but instead try to learn something from each assignment. The teachers don't give you homework just to annoy you. When you get your homework done, it feels good to be in school the next day with nothing to worry about.

OMG! An actual question! My first question in years - how cool is that? :-)Added 8/21/01
i get really good grades and i am just an alll around good student but 4 sum reason people used 2 think that made me a nerd. at first i didnt care cuz i had a lot of frends n e way. then in 5th grade i got into the popular crowd, a bunch of boys told me they liked me. ii am now going into the 6th grade and i dont no if i will stay popular. it matters 2 me now. i had a lot more fun, it also duz wonders for you r rep if u date. dating in 6th grade is a joke a ll u really do is go downtown and eat lunch 2gether and hold hands. i waant to be popular and i want 2 be asked out. what should i do if i want 2 succeed?
Jillybean2008, 11

Well, at least you know that already - dating in sixth grade is a joke. I was dating in eighth grade, and that was pretty pathetic too. Me and Ben would make out, right in front of everyone, and not even realize that we were being really rude. And, basically, we were so enthralled with making out that we didn't know each other very well, except for that. We ended up breaking up because I realized I barely knew him, and when I wanted to get more commited, he wouldn't. Anyway, my point is that dating before you're ready is really a bad idea, because you could get yourself into a situation you don't want to be in, and regret it later. I'm glad that you say you have a lot of friends, and you're popular now. But is your status now more important to you than the quality of the friends you keep forever? A lot of the "popular" crowd goes around having friends because they think they're cool, but never getting to know them that well. You might not understand this now, but let me tell you the truth- in middle school everyone wants to fit in and be the same, but in high school, the cool people stand out from the crowd and get noticed. Make sure you have friends that make you happy, that let you be yourself and have fun. If you only have friends that like you for your status, someday they will disappear and find other friends. Just like that, they'll be gone. You need to have true friends, ones that will stick by you through anything and really love you for your true self. Once you find them, popularity doesn't matter as much. You asked me- "What should I do if I want to succeed?" If you want to succeed at simply being popular in the sixth grade, go ahead, date, wear what everyone else is wearing, and pick on the unpopular kids. But if you want to succeed in life, find friends that will support you, be yourself, and follow your dreams. Good luck.

Added 8/23/01
Hey Becki~
This is horten goodass and arnold titsworth. we had a little bit of a predicament(did we spell this wrong???and no, thats not the problem we r havin) for u. u see, we got into this argument about what beach..hampton or old orchard...was colder. now i know u have been to both of them and i was thinkin maybe u could help. also, i was readin that new question from the popular kid and we were wonderin where exactly she gets her clothes and what kinda people she wants to date...we too wanna be popular. thanks so much

we love you,
from the goodass and titsworth fam

Well, I've been to Old Orchard Beach, but not actually in the water. Hampton was pretty damn cold, but I couldn't fairly say it was colder than Old Orchard from experience. As for the popular question, you can wear clothes from Abercromie and American Eagle to try to be more in style, but with names like Horton Goodass and Arnold Titsworth, there's little hope. Sorry. Date each other - then at least you can't make fun of each other's hopeless unpopularity. I love you too. And no, you did spell it correctly.

This question comes from an unusual source, and I don't seem to have an answer. Any advice for him, people? If you do, send it here, and I'll forward it to him. :-) Thanks!

From the Trenches-- Becki, It gets so cold here. I haven't seen my family in over twenty weeks. My wife's letters have become the only hope I have left in the god-forsaken war. I read and treasure each one, and while reading it, the hell around me seems to matter just a litle bit less. My son is 16 weeks this Thursday. She says he has my eyes. We haven't advanced, or, it might seem, accomplished anything these last few weeks. Nobody lasts long up here. The Germans couldn't allow us that. I've burried 6 this month. I've abandoned hope of friendship, or commradery, I live now only to see my family again, to know them, to feel them. I dream for the warmth of my wife's bosom, the smell of her hair, and for the truth she speaks as honey. The war seems to be without end. Last night our CO told us were were in for a bit longer. It's funny. Not a one of us seemed surprised. My theory is FDR wants us to die out here, cold and alone. I'm not sure what to ask, Rebecca, but could you please help me find life in this hold of garbage?
--Private Max Buchman, Infantry division, Bethuse, France.

How to Ask Someone Out
I know it's a hard thing to do because most of us are afraid of rejection. But it is possible. Here's what I suggest:
1. Make sure you have a chance. Do some research and find out if this person is already going out with someone or has a major obsession with someone (who isn't you.) Also, don't bother asking someone who obviously hates you, or it'll hurt when they laugh. If these things are all clear...
2. Ask the person face-to-face or on the phone. In a note, it is very easy for them to say no. Not sure what to say? Try, "Do you want to go out with me?" or "Will you go out with me?"
3. If they say yes... Congratulations! Be happy, but DON'T start jumping up and down cheering right in front of your new boyfriend/girlfriend's face. Save it until you're at home or with your buds. Until then, play it cool. Say something like, "Great!" or "Cool! See you later, then." and casually go back to what you were doing.
4. If they say no... If you don't feel too rude doing so, ask why! It might not be your fault... maybe they are just in a bad mood or are too stressed right now to be part of a couple. Or maybe they are waiting for a certain person to ask them out that you didn't find out about in your "research." Or maybe they just don't know you well enough (or at all.)Who knows? If they do something mean like call you a loser or laugh, then of course that person is a jerk and you wouldn't want out go out with them anyway. Move on!

Good Luck!
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